Sources:
Jammers-Minde, Leonora Christina Ulfeldt, published 1869
Memoirs of Leonora Christina, translated by F. E. Bunnètt, 1872
Above: Leonora Christina Ulfeldt, painted by Gerard van Honthorst.
Leonora Christina, Countess Ulfeldt (born July 8, 1621, died March 16, 1698) was the daughter of King Christian IV of Denmark and his mistress Kirsten Munk, and wife of the traitorous Steward of the Realm, Count Corfitz Ulfeldt. Renowned in Denmark since the 19th century for her posthumously published autobiography, Jammers Minde, written secretly during her decades of solitary confinement in a royal dungeon, her intimate version of the major events she witnessed in European history, interwoven with ruminations on her woes as a political prisoner, still commands popular interest, scholarly respect, and has become the stuff of legend as retold and enlivened in Danish literature and art.
Leonora Christina was imprisoned from 1663 to 1685 in the Blue Tower in Copenhagen Castle for presumed knowledge of her husband's treachery. When King Christian V came to the throne in 1670, the conditions of her imprisonment were improved, and she was given books and writing material.
After writing a short autobiography in French in 1673, Leonora Christina began writing Jammers Minde, which she completed after her release from the dungeon in 1685. Jammers Minde, which means "A Memory of Lament", was completed in 1674. It was first published in 1869 and is included in the Danish Culture Canon. It is considered to be the finest work of prose written in 17th century Denmark. It relates a partially fictionalised account of Leonora Christina's time in captivity, with a detailed personal account of prison life, often drawing upon biblical references and dark humour, and contrasting the comical with the macabre. Radical for its day in its account of personal confession and crisis, and written with a political and tactical purpose, it is considered an existential religious writing.
Jammers Minde is a defensive, intimate and dramatic account which brings back to life, in vivid detail, the long and painful years of Leonora Christina's imprisonment. She knew that the work would be more successful if it came across as an authentic account of her time in the dungeon, so it displays many of her real experiences there, although they are dramatised and fictionalised vividly. Jammers Minde conveys the woman's conscious will to describe her experience without giving in to her fate. It contains a host of vivid details: sights, smells, and sounds, often conveyed with loathing — but also juxtaposed with a grotesque sense of humour which makes it all the more moving. Leonora Christina's ability to observe and describe the appearance and behaviour of the people she was forced to come into contact with has left a picture of "insignificant" figures, mostly women, whose names and lives would almost certainly have been lost to history if it weren't for her. One of the reasons the work has become hailed as a literary masterpiece is because the author manages to couch her account in a fine, dignified style, giving elegance and shine to even the most lurid details. According to Leonora Christina, her female attendants appeared to suffer more than she did, suffering from anxiety, fever and alcoholism, whilst she herself remained in good health during her time in captivity, although she once suffered from gallstones.
Leonora Christina frequently draws upon biblical stories and characters and God in her depiction of prison life, recreating the prison in part as a scene in the Bible and her jailors and enemies into characters in her Christian Passion. Languages are also important in Jammers Minde. It is mainly written in Early Modern Danish, and Leonora Christina translates dialogue in Middle Low German, Early New High German, and Early Modern French, but later on she adds more depth to the characters by writing the dialogue in the original languages, and even demonstrates her superior knowledge of languages by often replying to the people around her in a language they cannot understand. Leonora's allies are mostly French-speaking, sending her letters or intimately conversing with her. Anne-Marie Mai highlights the psychological meaning of Jammers Minde and how the account can be viewed as a "monument for [Leonora Christina's] spiritual and moral triumph over her adversaries, the evil agents of power, the flesh ungodly."
In this equally powerful letter to her children, written on July 18, 1674 — her 53rd birthday —, Leonora Christina explains to them what happened to her and how and why she decided to write her story.
The letter:
Til mine Børn.
Hierte kiere Børn! Billigen kand ieg med Iob sige: Der som man min Iammer kunde weye oc mine Liidelser tilsammen i en Wect-Skaal legge, da skulle de were tyngere end Saand i Haffuet. Ia wißeligen erre mine Liidelser stoere oc mange, de erre tunge oc vtallige. Mit Sind haffuer lenge offuer denne Iammers Minde werret striidig, ey kundende slutte, om ieg mig icke snarere skulle bemøde mine Liidelser att forglemme end dennem att ihuekomme. Men endeligen haffuer tilskyndende Aarsager mig dreffuen icke alleeneste min Iammer att ihuekomme, men den endoc vdi Pennen att forfatte oc Eder, mine kiære Børn, den att tilskriffue.
Første tildriffuende Aarsage er Guds Allmectigheds Errindring, efftersom ieg ey min Iammer, Angst, Nød oc Smerte ihuekomme kand foruden tillige med mig Guds Allmact att errindre, som vdi alle mine Liidelser, Elendigheder, Hiertesorrig oc Bedrøffuelser min Krafft oc Hielp, min Trøst oc Bistand haffuer werret; thi aldrig lagde Gud mig saa snart en Byrde paa, att hand io med ded samme mig effter Byrdens Tyngde Styrcke gaff, saa att Byrden mig wel krum nederbøyede, mig hart knuede oc tryckte, men dog ey slet nederslog, knusede oc vndertryckte, for huilcket den vbegriibelige Guds Allmectighed skee Loff oc Priis i Ewighed. Wil mig alt saa icke alleeneste min Iammer errindre oc Gud for sin naadige Bistand i alle tilføyede bedrøffuelige Tilfald tacke, men endoc Eder, mine kiere Børn, Guds Goedhed imod mig kundgiøre, paa ded I Eder icke alleeneste offuer den Allerhøyestis vbegriibelige Hielps-Gierninger kunde forundre, men endoc med mig der vdoffuer i Tacksigelsen indstemme. Thi med Skiel skal I kunde sige, att Gud vnderlige Ting imod mig giort haffuer, att hand haffuer werret mectig vdi mig suage oc sin Krafft vdi mig, ded allerskrøbeligste Redskab, bewiißet. Thi huorledis haffde ded ellers werret muligt, att ieg saa mange offuer stoere, plutzlige oc vformodentlige, vlyckelige Tilfælle haffde kundet imodstaa, om hands Aand icke vdi mig sin Wirckning haffde giort? Gud war den, som selffuer traadde ind med mig aff Taarne-Døren, hand war dend, som racte mig sin Haand oc striide for mig vdi Mißdædernis Fengsel, som kaldis den Mørcke-Kircke. Hand haffuer siden stetze, nu nesten ellffue Aar, worren inden mine Fengsels-Døre oc vdi mit Hierte, haffuer styrcket, trøstet, queeget, ia offte endoc glæd mig. Gud haffuer giort vnderlige Ting imod mig, thi ded er meere end vbegribeligt, att ieg saa stoere mig offuerkomme Vlycker haffuer kundt offuerleffue, beholdendis min Fornufft, Sind oc Santz. Ded er sig høyeligen offuer att forundre, att mine Lemmer icke erre krumpen oc contract aff Liggen oc Sidden, att mine Øyen icke erre dumme, ia gandske blinde aff Graad, aff Røg oc Smøg, att ieg icke er stackaanded aff idelig Lyßetaande oc Qualm, aff Stanck oc indklemte Lufft. Gud allene Æren!
Den anden tilskyndende Aarsage er den Trøst, ded Eder, mine kiære Børn, wil were, att I formedelst denne Iammers Minde forsickris, att ieg vskyldeligen liider, att mig icke ringeste Sag er tillagt, oc att ieg intet er bleffuen beskylt, for huilcket I, mine kiære Børn, tør bluis oc Øynene skammeligen nederslaa. Ieg liider for att haffue werret ælsket aff en dydig Herre oc Hoßbonde, for att ey haffue hannem i Vlycken wilt forlade; susspiceris derfor att wide om ett Forræderi, hand aldrig er bleffuen for tiltalt, mindre offuerbewiist, huis Beskyllings Aarsage mig ey bleff forstendiget, ihuor smaaligen oc weemodeligen ieg ded war begierendis. Lader ded were Eders Trøst, mine kiære Børn, att ieg haffuer en naadig Gud, en goed Samwittighed oc en frii Foed att staa paa, att ieg aldrig nogen skammelig Gierning haffuer giort. Ded er en Naade hoeß Gud, siger Apostelen St. Peder, om nogen bærer ded onde formedelst en goed Samwittighed oc liider Vret. Ieg liider, Ære wære Gud! icke for mine Mißgierninger, thi da war ded mig ingen Roeß, men ieg kand roeße mig aff, att ieg aff Vngdom op Christi Kaarßdragerske haffuer werret oc hafft vtrolige himlige Liidelser, huilcke effter mine Aar oc Alder ware wel tunge att bære.
I huor wel min Iammers-Minde icke widre indholder eller om melder, end huis sig med mig i dette Fengsel paa elffte Aar haffwer tildraget, saa kand ieg dog icke forbigaa Eder, mine kiære Børn, mine forrige Liidelser korteligen i denne Fortale att paaminde, tackende Gud for diß Offuerstriidende.
Eder, mine hierte kiære Børn, er icke alleeneste witterligt, men ded er endoc landkyndig, huad stoere Liidelser oc effterfølgende Vlycker Dina oc Walter med derris mectige Anhang worris Huuß paaførte Anno 1651.
At ieg intet skal melde om saa mange modige oc tunge Dagis Reiser, om Haffs-Nød oc mange Slags Farligheder, ieg vdi fremmede Lande fristet haffuer, den eeneste Reiße wil ieg Eder alleene til Gemøte føre, huilcken min Herre mig imod mit Sind befalede att giøre i Dannemarck Anno 1657. Den war Winter Dag, besuærlig oc farlig. Ieg liide Spott oc Forfølgelse, oc dersom Gud icke haffde giffuen mig Moed oc den ded betaget, som mig skulle griibe, da haffde ieg ey paa den Tiid vntgaaet Fengsels Vlycke.
I dragis wel til Minde, mine kiære Børn, huad ieg i den malmøske Arrest fiorten Maaneder liide oc vdstoed; att den største Naade, Hands kl. Majt. aff Suerrige, Konning Karl den tiiende, mig da bewiiste, war, att hand satte ded i mine Kaar, enten ieg wille were paa frii Foed oc raade for worris Goedz, eller oc med min Herre were arresteret. Ieg erkiendte den Naade oc ded sidste som ded skylligste vdwalde, actendis ded for en Lycke, att ieg min da sorgefulde oc siden med Sygdom behafftede Hoßbonde maatte trøste oc tienne. Ieg antog ded oc for en Naade, att mig bleff tilsted (der min Herre for Suaghed ey selffuer kunde) for hannem att gaa i Rette. Huad Hiertesorrig oc Bedrøffuelse ieg for min skrøbelige Herre haffde, huad Møde, Besuæring oc Bekümring Processen (som offuer nii Vger dagligen bleff forretagen) mig foraarsagede, ded weed den høyeste Gud, som war min Trøst, Styrcke oc Bistand, som mig gaff Moed oc Hierte for en Siddendis-Rett min Herris ærlige Naffn att forsuare.
Eder er wel icke forglemt, huor hastig en Vlycke anden fuldte, huorledis den Liidelse ey war forbi, førend en langt større hender Haanden racte; oc gick ded oß da, som Poëten siger: Indicit in Scyllam, qui vult vitare Charibdin. Wii vntgick en Arrest oc falt i ett hart Fengsel, vden Tuiffuel formedelst Guds Tilskickelse, som min Herre (imod worris Tagen Affskeed) gaff de Tancker sig til Kiøbenhaffn i Steden for Lybeck att forføye. Huor hierteklemt ieg bleff, der ieg imod all Formoding min Herre i Kiøbenhaffn for mig fant (huilcken ieg formeente alle hands Fiinders Mact oc Wold att were vntkommen), ded kand ieg med ingen Pen beskriffue. Ieg wentede ded, som min Herre icke troede, huilcket dog strax der paa fulte, som war en Arrest, oc bleffue wii anden Dagen effter min Ankomst (effter huilcken biiedis) tagen til Fanger oc førte til Borringholm, huorhelst wii sytten Maaneders Tiid hart ware fengselet. Huad ieg der liide, derom haffuer ieg en fuldkommen Beskriffning giort, som ieg formoder vdi Eders, mine kiere Børns, Giemme findis, huor vdaff I seer, huad ieg med min suage Herre vdstoed, huor offte ieg større Vlycke affwergede, efftersom min Herre icke altiid med Taalmodighed Gouuerneurens, Adolff Foßis (som sig Fux kalte), onde Tractament kunde forsmerte. Tungt oc hart war ded att were aff en Bonde Søn spottet oc forhaanet, att were aff hannem sultet, truet oc høtt, men tyngere oc haardere att were syg vnder hands Gewalt oc høre aff hannem de Ord, att der som end Døden saed mig paa Læberne, saa skulle dog icke nogen Guds-Ords-Tiennere komme til mig. O stoer[e] Tyranni! Hands Ondskab war saa offuer Maade stoer, att hand icke kunde taale, at wii lettede huer andre Kaarßet, huor for hand ded saa forarbeydede, att wii effter ellffue Maaneders Forløb fra huer andre bleffue skilte, oc huer særdelis paa ded haardeste fengselet. Min Herre (som da alt war en gammel Mand) foruden Tienner, oc ieg, foruden Tiennerinde, finge ey lengre Lyß, end Afftens-Maaltiid warede. Ieg kand ey forbigaa den sex Maaneders haarde Skilßmiße oc bedrøffuelige Affskeed, wii fra huer andre toge, smerteligen att ihuekomme; thi for menniskelige Øyne saae ded icke anderledis vd end saa, som Gouuerneuren oß spaade, att ded wille were for den sidste Gang, wii huer andre her i Werden skulle see oc tale. Gud wed best, huor tung den Liidelse war, thi hand war den, som trøstede, som gaff Haab imod all Forhaabning, som gaff Moed, der Gouuerneuren mig besøgte oc wille mißtrøste. Gud stadfæstede mit Haab, Goedz oc Formue løste worris Fengsel, oc wii finge huer andre igien att see oc tale. Saa bedrøffuet min Herre war, der wii fra huer andre paa Borringholm bleffue skilte, saa glad war hand, der hand toe Aar der effter til den engelske Reiße mig haffde offuertalt, ey tenckendis, att den oß for alltiid skulle attskillige. Min Herre, som haffde alt for goed opinion om Kongen aff Engeland, meente, att nu, hand war till Tronen kommen, att hand icke alleeneste sine stoere mundtlige oc skrifftlige Løffter skulle ihuekomme, men sig oc errindre, att ieg vdi hands Nøds- oc Landtflyctigheds Tiid tog Ringene aff Fingerne oc for hands oc hands Tienneris Maaltiider vdsatte. Men huor nødig ieg mig den Reiße paatog, ded er nogle aff Eder, mine kiære Børn, bekiendt, wel wiidende, att hoeß en vtacknemmelig ey anded end Vtacknemmelighed er att hente oc wente. Ieg haffde andris Exempler att speile mig vdi, men ded war mig saa forrelagt. Der ware beeske Stycker Brød for mig tilskaarren, oc bitter Kaarß-Galle for mig indskenket vdi ded Blaa-Taarn paa Kiøbenhaffns-Slott; did skulle ieg, ded der att æde oc att vddricke.
Eder er icke vwitterligt, huor falskeligen Kongen aff Eng. med mig handlede, huor wel hand tog imod min Komme, huor hand mig med ett Iudas-Kyß helste oc sin Fencke tittulerede, huorledis hand baade selffuer, saa wel som wed sine høye Ministri, all kl. Gunst oc Naade forsickrede oc mig for de forstracte Penninger Betaling loffuede. I wiide, huor suigacteligen hand mig (effter Hs. kl. Mt. aff Dannemarckis Begiering) till Dovers loed arrestere oc siden wed den Forræder Lutenant Braten wiiß giøre, att hand mig himmeligen wille lade vntkomme, leuerende mig dermed i den danske Resident, Simon Petcons Hender, som med aatte bewæbnede Mænd mig loed anfalle; selff holte hand sig langt fra oc torde icke komme mig nær. De satte mig Degen oc Pistoll paa Brystet, oc tuende toge mig mellem sig oc satte mig i en Baad, huilcken mig førte til ett Skiib, som forte Resident haffde tilreede, oc haffde hand befalet en Karl wed Naffn Peter Dreyer mig til Kiøbenhaffn att leedsage.
Her fra haffuer denne min Iammers Minde sin Begyndelse. Den melder om, huis mig inden ded Blaa-Taarens Døre er hentis. Betencker, mine hierte kiere Børn, diße haarde Liidelser; errindrer Eder oc Guds stoere Goedhed imod mig. Seer: aff sex Drøffuelser haffuer hand vdfriiet mig; wærer wiß paa, att hand vdi den syffuende mig ey lader sticke eller omkomme. Ney! hand wil for sit Naffns Ære[s] Skyld wældeligen mig vdriiffue.
Miine Liidelsers Fortelning er bedrøffuelig att paahøre oc kand de aller haardeste Hierter til Medliidenhed bewege; men lader dens Læßning Eder icke høyre bedrøffue, end Glæden den igien kand offuerweye. Betracter min Vskyllighed, Friimodighed oc Taalmodighed; glæder Eder der vdoffuer.
Mange smaa Widerwertigheder oc daglig Fortred er ieg for Witløfftigheds Skyld forbigaaet, ihuor wel den ringste aff dennem hart suee i mit ømme Drøffuelsis Saar.
Ieg bekiender mine Suagheder oc bærer ingen Sky Eder dennem att fortelle. Ieg er ett Menniske oc fuld aff menniskelige Skrøbligheder. De første Bewegelser staar icke vdi worris Mact, man offueriilis stønnem, førend man sig kand besinde. Gud wed, att ieg offte haffuer giort mig baade døff oc blind for icke til Wrede att opirris. Ieg skammer mig wed Slozfogdens Iohan Iægers, Kresten Maansøn Taarngiemmers, Karen Ollis Daatters oc Catharina Wolffs vtuctige Ord, skiiden Snack oc groffue Plom[p]heder att indføre oc opregne; ded wille for meget ledere høfflige Ørne. Ded kand ieg Eder forsickre, att ded offuergaar alt ded, som vteerligt, skidden, tølpersk oc vsømmeligt kand were; thi groffue Ord oc fuull Tale war derris Wenligheds oc Mildheds Tegn, oc blodige Eeder derris Vsandferdigheders Smycke oc Beprydelse, saa att derris Omgiengelse war mig meget vangenem. Ieg war intet gladere, end naar Dørene imellem mig oc dennem ware luct, som for mig lucke skulle, saa haffde ieg ickun Quinden alleene, huilcken ieg stønnem med goede, stønnem med Vdfuen oc Truen kunde komme til att tie.
Ieg haffuer endoc hafft goed Omgiengelse oc endnu haffuer, huis Tiennester oc Høffligheder ieg tilbørligen ihuekommer oc wil, saa lenge ieg leffuer, ihuekomme. I, mine kiere Børn, wille ded oc imod en huer effter Muelighed erkiende.
I finder oc vdi denne Iammers Minde tuende aff worris Huußis Hoffuit Fiinder, som [er] Iørgen Walter oc Iørgen Skrøder, offuer huilcke Gud mig haffuer hæffnet oc wille, att de skulle trenge til mig, oc ieg dennem skulle hußuale. Walter giffuer mig noget Anleding lided mere, end mit Forset war, om hannem att melde.
Aff de Psalmer oc aandelige Wiiser, ieg componeret oc translateret haffuer, indfører ieg nogle til den Ende, att I, mine kiere Børn, kand see oc kiende, att ieg mig stetze haffuer holt fast til Gud, huilcken haffuer wæret oc endnu er min Muur imod alle Anløb oc min Tilfluct imod alle Slags Moedgang oc Widerwertigheder. Giffuer intet Act paa Riimene; de erre icke effter alle de Regler, Poëterne sig giøre; men giffuer Act paa Materien, Meeningen oc Nytten. Ieg haffuer ey heller wilt mine andre smaa Tiidsfordriff forbigaa, thi der vdaff kand I Eder mit Sinds Roelighed forwiße oc see, att ieg ingen ledige Tiimer haffuer, [ia?] att en (for andre affskylig), Røtte mig endoc tienner til Tiidskortning.
Tuende Observationer haffuer ieg antegnet. Ihuor wel de erre om ringe oc foractelige Dyr, saa erre de dog merckelige, oc tuiffler ieg paa, att de aff nogen naturkündiger tilforne erre bleffuen i Act tagen. Thi att der findis ett Slags Kaal-Orme, som føder leffuende smaa Orme, oc saadanne som de er selff, troer ieg icke, haffuer før werret noteret. Mindre, att en Loppe føder en formeret Loppe, oc icke en Gned kommer aff en Gned.
Til Besluttning beder ieg Eder, mine hierte kiere Børn, att I icke lader ded Eder vnderlig forrekomme, att ieg icke haffuer wilt tage imod den Leylighed, wed huilcken ieg til min Friihed haffuer kundet komme. Naar I ded rett betencker, saa haffde ded huercken werret Eder eller mig tienlig. Ieg bekiender, att dersom min Herre, salig hoeß Gud, haffde werret i Liffue, att ieg da icke alleeneste haffde tagen imod Tilbudded, men endoc giort mit yderste mit Fengsel att vntkomme for hannem att opsøge, til sidste Aande-Dret att opwarte oc tienne; min Skyllighed haffde ded vdkræffuet. Men efftersom hand da alt war hoeß Gud vdi Huiile oc Roe oc ey nogen Menniskis Tienneste meere behøffuede, saa haffuer ieg billigen betractet, att den selfftagen Friihed oß paa alle Sider meere skadeligt end som gaffnligt were wille, oc att ded icke war der Wey til worris fratagne Formue att komme, huorfor ieg den vdslog oc søgte i ded Sted mit Hierte til Roelighed att skicke oc mit paalagte Kaarß taalmodeligen att bære. Wil Gud ded saa føye, oc er ded hands guddommelige Behag, att ieg med kongelig Naade min Friihed skal nyde, saa wil ieg oc med Glæde effter yderste Formue for Eder, mine hierte kiære Børn, wære ett Wersens Træl oc vdi Gierningen erwiiße, att ieg aldrig wiger fra min Plict, att ieg icke er mindre en goed oc retsinnig Moder, end som ieg haffuer werret en troe Hustru. Vdi midler Tiid lader Guds Willie were Eders Willie, hand wil alle Ting saaledis wende, føye oc lawe, att ded Eder oc mig til Siel oc Liiff kand gaffne; vnder huis trygge Waretect ieg Eder alle troligen wil befale oc bede, att hand Eders Fader oc Moder, Eders Raadførere oc Ledismand wille were. Beder I igien for mig, att Gud mig med sin goede Aand wil regiere oc fremdelis som hid ind til Taalmodighed forunde. Ded er alt ded, som søger hoes Eder
Mine hierte kiere Børn
Eders hulde Moder
Leonora Christina
V. E. G.
Skreffuen i ded Blaa-Taarn Anno 1674 den 18. Iulii, mit Fengsels ded elffte Aar, min Fødsels Dag, oc Alders 53. Aar.
With modernised spelling:
Til mine børn.
Hjertekære børn! Billigen kan jeg med Job sige: Der som man min jammer kunde veje og mine lidelser tilsammen i en vægtskål lægge, da skulle de være tyngere end sand i havet. Ja visseligen ere mine lidelser store og mange, de ere tunge og utallige. Mit sind haver længe over denne Jammers Minde været stridig, ej kundende slutte, om jeg mig ikke snarere skulle bemøde mine lidelser at forglemme end dennem at ihuekomme. Men endeligen haver tilskyndende årsager mig dreven ikke aleneste min jammer at ihuekomme, men den endog udi pennen at forfatte og eder, mine kære børn, den at tilskrive.
Første tildrivende årsage er Guds Almægtigheds erindring, eftersom jeg ej min jammer, angst, nød og smerte ihuekomme kan foruden tillige med mig Guds Almagt at erindre, som udi alle mine lidelser, elendigheder, hjertesorg og bedrøvelser min kraft og hjælp, min trøst og bistand haver været; thi aldrig lagde Gud mig så snart en byrde på, at han jo med det samme mig efter byrdens tyngde styrke gav, så at byrden mig vel krum nederbøjede, mig hart knuede og trykte, men dog ej slet nederslog, knusede oc undertrykte, for hvilket den ubegribelige Guds Almægtighed ske lov og pris i evighed. Vil mig alt så ikke aleneste min jammer erindre og Gud for sin nådige bistand i alle tilføjede bedrøvelige tilfald takke, men endog eder, mine kære børn, Guds godhed imod mig kungøre, på det I eder ikke aleneste over den allerhøjestes ubegribelige hjelpsgerninger kunne forundre, men endog med mig derudover i taksigelsen indstemme. Thi med skæl skal I kunne sige, at Gud underlige ting imod mig gjort haver, at hand haver været mægtig udi mig svage og sin kraft udi mig, det allerskrøbeligste redskab, beviset. Thi hvorledes havde det ellers været muligt, at jeg så mange over store, pludslige og uformodentlige, ulykkelige tilfælde havde kunnet imodstå, om hans ånd ikke udi mig sin virkning havde gjort? Gud var den, som selver trådde ind med mig af tårnedøren, han var den, som rakte mig sin hånd og stridde for mig udi Misdædernes fængsel, som kaldes den Mørke Kirke. Han haver siden stedse, nu næsten elleve år, våren inden mine fængselsdøre og udi mit hjerte, haver styrket, trøstet, kvæget, ja ofte endog glæd mig. Gud haver gjort underlige ting imod mig, thi det er mere end ubegribeligt, at jeg så store mig overkomme ulykker haver kunt overleve, beholdendes min fornuft, sind og sans. Det er sig højligen over at forundre, at mine lemmer ikke ere krumpen og kontrakt af liggen og sidden, at mine øjen ikke ere dumme, ja ganske blinde af gråd, af røg og smøg, at jeg ikke er stakåndet af idelig lysetånde og kvalm, af stank og indklemte luft. Gud alene æren!
Den anden tilskyndende årsage er den trøst, det eder, mine kære børn, vil være, at I formedelst denne Jammers Minde forsikres, at jeg uskyldeligen lider, at mig ikke ringeste sag er tillagt, og at jeg intet er bleven beskyldt, for hvilket I, mine kære børn, tør blues og øjnene skammeligen nederslå. Jeg lider for at have været elsket af en dydig herre og husbonde, for at ej have hannem i ulykken vilt forlade; suspiceres derfor at vide om et forræderi, han aldrig er bleven for tiltalt, mindre overbevist, hvis beskyldings årsage mig ej blev forstændiget, ihvor småligen og vemodeligen ieg ded war begærendes. Lader det være eders trøst, mine kære børn, at jeg haver en nådig Gud, en god samvittighed og en fri fod at stå på, at jeg aldrig nogen skammelig gerning haver gjort. Det er en nåde hos Gud, siger apostelen St. Peder, om nogen bærer det onde formedelst en god samvittighed og lider uret. Jeg lider, ære være Gud! ikke for mine misgerninger, thi da var det mig ingen ros, men jeg kan rose mig af, at jeg af ungdom op Christi Korsdragerske haver været og haft utrolige hemmelige lidelser, hvilke efter mine år og alder vare vel tunge at bære.
Ihvorvel min Jammers Minde ikke videre indholder eller om melder, end hvis sig med mig i dette fængsel på ellevte år haver tildraget, så kan jeg dog ikke forbigå eder, mine kære børn, mine forrige lidelser korteligen i denne fortale at påminde, takkende Gud for des overstridende.
Eder, mine hjertekære børn, er ikke aleneste vitterligt, men det er endog landkyndig, hvad store lidelser og efterfølgende ulykker Dina og Walter med deres mægtige anhang vores hus påførte anno 1651.
At jeg intet skal melde om så mange modige og tunge dages rejser, om havsnød og mange slags farligheder, jeg udi fremmede lande fristet haver, den eneste rejse vil jeg eder alene til gemytte føre, hvilken min herre mig imod mit sind befalede at gøre i Danmark anno 1657. Den var vinterdag, besværlig og farlig. Jeg lidde spot og forfølgelse, og dersom Gud ikke havde given mig mod og den det betaget, som mig skulle gribe, da havde jeg ej på den tid undgået fængsels ulykke.
I drages vel til minde, mine kære børn, hvad jeg i den malmøske arrest fjorten måneder lidde og udstod; at den største nåde, Hans kl. Majt. af Sverige, Konning Karl den tiende, mig da beviste, var, at han satte det i mine kår, enten jeg ville være på fri fod og råde for vores gods, eller og med min herre være arresteret. Jeg erkendte den nåde og det sidste som det skyldigste udvalte, agtendes det for en lykke, at jeg min da sorgefulde og siden med sygdom behaftede husbonde måtte trøste og tjene. Jeg antog det og for en nåde, at mig blev tilsted (der min herre for svaghed ej selver kunde) for hannem at gå i rette. Hvad hjertesorg og bedrøvelse jeg for min skrøbelige herre havde, hvad møde, besværing og bekymring processen (som over ni uger dagligen blev foretagen) mig forårsagede, det véd den højeste Gud, som var min trøst, styrke og bistand, som mig gav mod og hjerte for en siddendes ret min herres ærlige navn at forsvare.
Eder er vel ikke forglemt, hvor hastig én ulykke anden fulgte, hvorledes den lidelse ej var forbi, førend en langt større hender hånden rakte; og gik det os da, som poeten siger: Indicit in Scyllam, qui vult vitare Charibdin. Vi undgik en arrest og faldt i et hart fængsel, uden tvivl formedelst Guds tilskikkelse, som min herre (imod vores tagen afsked) gav de tanker sig til København i steden for Lybek at forføje. Hvor hjerteklemt jeg blev, der jeg imod al formoding min herre i København for mig fandt (hvilken jeg formente alle hans finders magt og vold at være undkommen), det kan jeg med ingen pen beskrive. Jeg ventede det, som min herre ikke troede, hvilket dog straks derpå fulgte, som var en arrest, og bleve vi anden dagen efter min ankomst (efter hvilken biedes) tagen til fanger og førte til Boringholm, hvorhelst vi sytten måneders tid hart vare fængselet. Hvad jeg der lidde, derom haver jeg en fuldkommen beskrivning gjort, som jeg formoder udi eders, mine kære børns, Gemme findes, hvorudaf I ser, hvad jeg med min svage herre udstod, hvor ofte jeg større ulykke afværgede, eftersom min herre ikke altid med tålmodighed governørens, Adolf Fosses (som sig Fuchs kaldte), onde traktament kunne forsmærte. Tungt og hart var det at være af en bondesøn spottet og forhånet, at være af hannem sultet, truet og hødt, men tyngere og hårdere at være syg under hans gevalt og høre af hannem de ord, at der som end døden sad mig på læberne, så skulle dog icke nogen gudsordstjenere komme til mig. O store tyranni! Hans ondskab var så overmåde stor, at han ikke kunne tåle, at vi lettede hverandre korset, hvorfor han det så forarbejdede, at vi efter elleve måneders forløb fra hverandre bleve skilte, og hver særdeles på det hårdeste fængselet. Min herre (som da alt war en gammel mand) foruden tjenere, og jeg, foruden tjenerinde, finge ej længre lys, end aftensmåltid varede. Jeg kan ej forbigå den seks måneders hårde skilsmisse og bedrøvelige afsked, vi fra hverandre toge, smerteligen at ihuekomme; thi for menneskelige øjne så det ikke anderledes ud end så, som governøren os spåede, at det ville være for den sidste gang, vi hverandre her i verden skulle se og tale. Gud ved bedst, hvor tung den lidelse var, thi han var den, som trøstede, som gav håb imod all forhåbning, som gav mod, der governøren mig besøgte og ville mistrøste. Gud stadfæstede mit håb, gods og formue løste vores fængsel, og vi finge hverandre igen at se og tale. Så bedrøvet min herre var, der vi fra hverandre på Boringholm bleve skilte, så glad var han, der han to år derefter til den engelske rejse mig havde overtalt, ej tænkendes, at den os for altid skulle atskillige. Min herre, som havde alt for god opinion om kongen af Engeland, mente, at nu, han var til tronen kommen, at han ikke aleneste sine store mundtlige og skriftlige løfter skulle ihuekomme, men sig og erindre, at jeg udi hans nøds og landtflygtigheds tid tog ringene af fingerne og for hans og hans tjeneres måltider udsatte. Men hvor nødig jeg mig den rejse påtog, det er nogle af eder, mine kære børn, bekendt, vel vidende, at hos en utaknemmelig ej andet end utaknemmelighed er at hente og vente. Jeg havde andres eksempler at spejle mig udi, men det var mig så forelagt. Der vare bedske stykker brød for mig tilskåren, og bitter korsgalde for mig indskænket udi det Blåtårn på Kjøbenhavns Slot; did skulle jeg, det der at æde og at uddrikke.
Eder er ikke uvitterligt, hvor falskeligen kongen af Engeland med mig handlede, hvor vel han tog imod min komme, hvor han mig med et Judaskys helste og sin fænke titulerede, hvorledes han både selver, så vel som ved sine høje ministri, all kongelig gunst og nåde forsikrede og mig for de forstrakte penninger betaling lovede. I vide, hvor svigagteligen han mig (efter Hs. kgl. Majestæt af Danmarks begæring) til Dovers lod arrestere og siden ved den forræder løjtnant Braten vis gøre, at han mig hemmeligen ville lade undkomme, leverende mig dermed i den danske resident, Simon Petkums hænder, som med otte bevæbnede mænd mig lod anfalde; selv holdte han sig langt fra og turde ikke komme mig nær. De satte mig degen og pistol på brystet, og tvende toge mig mellem sig og satte mig i en båd, hvilken mig førte til et skib, som fornævnte resident havde til rede, og havde han befalet en karl ved navn Peter Dreyer mig til København at ledsage.
Herfra haver denne min Jammers Minde sin begyndelse. Den melder om, hvis mig inden det Blåtårns døre er hændtes. Betænker, mine hjertekære børn, disse hårde lidelser; erindrer eder og Guds store godhed imod mig. Ser: af seks drøvelser haver han udfriet mig; værer viss på, at han udi den syvende mig ej lader stikke eller omkomme. Nej! han vil for sit navns æres skyld vældeligen mig udrive.
Mine lidelsers fortælning er bedrøvelig at påhøre og kan de allerhårdeste hjerter til medlidenhed bevæge; men lader dens læsning eder icke højre bedrøve, end glæden den igen kan overveje. Betrakter min uskyldighed, frimodighed og tålmodighed; glæder eder der udover.
Mange små viderværdigheder og daglig fortræd er jeg for vidtløftigheds skyld forbigået, ihvorvel den ringeste af dennem hart sve i mit ømme drøvelses sår.
Jeg bekender mine svagheder og bærer ingen sky eder dennem at fortælle. Jeg er et menneske og fuld af menneskelige skrøbeligheder. De første bevægelser står ikke udi vores magt, man overiles stønnem, førend man sig kan besinde. Gud ved, at jeg ofte haver gjort mig både døv og blind for ikke til vrede at opirres. Jeg skammer mig ved slotsfogdens Johan Jægers, Christen Monsøn tårnegemmers, Karen Oles dotters og Catharina Wolffs utugtige ord, skiden snak og grove plompheder at indføre og opregne; det ville for meget lædere høflige ørne. Det kan jeg eder forsikre, at det overgår alt det, som uterligt, skiden, tølpersk og usømmeligt kan være; thi grove ord og ful tale var deres venligheds- og mildhedstegn, og blodige eder deres usandfærdigheders smykke og beprydelse, så at deres omgængelse var mig meget uangenem. Jeg var intet gladere, end når dørene imellem mig og dennem vare lukt, som for mig lukke skulle, så havde jeg ikkun kvinden alene, hvilken jeg stønnem med gode, stønnem med udfuen og truen kunne komme til at tie.
Jeg haver endog haft god omgængelse og endnu haver, hvis tjenester og høfligheder jeg tilbørligen ihuekommer og vil, så længe jeg lever, ihuekomme. I, mine kære børn, ville det og imod enhver efter mulighed erkende.
I finder og udi denne Jammers Minde tvende af vores huses hovedfjender, som er Jørgen Walter og Jørgen Skrøder, over hvilke Gud mig haver hævnet og ville, at de skulle trænge til mig, og jeg dennem skulle husvale. Walter giver mig noget anleding lidet mere, end mit forset var, om hannem at melde.
Af de psalmer og åndelige viser, jeg komponeret og translateret haver, indfører jeg nogle til den ende, at I, mine kære børn, kan se og kende, at jeg mig stedse haver holdt fast til Gud, hvilken haver været og endnu er min mur imod alle anløb og min tilflugt imod alle slags modgang og viderværdigheder. Giver intet agt på rimene; de ere ikke efter alle de regler, poeterne sig gøre; men giver agt på materien, meningen og nytten. Jeg haver ej heller vilt mine andre små tidsfordrif forbigå, thi derudaf kan I eder mit sinds rolighed forvise og se, at jeg ingen ledige timer haver, [ja] at en (for andre afskylig), røtte mig endog tjener til tidskortning.
Tvende observationer haver jeg antegnet. Ihvorvel de ere om ringe og foragtelige dyr, så ere de dog mærkelige, og tvivler jeg på, at de af nogen naturkyndiger tilforne ere bleven i agt tagen. Thi at der findes et Slags kålorme, som føder levende små orme, og sådanne som de er selv, tror jeg ikke, haver før været noteret. Mindre, at en loppe føder en formeret loppe, og ikke en gnid kommer af en gnid.
Til beslutning beder jeg eder, mine hjertekære børn, at I ikke lader det eder underlig forekomme, at jeg ikke haver vilt tage imod den lejlighed, ved hvilken jeg til min frihed haver kunnet komme. Når I det ret betænker, så havde det hverken været eder eller mig tjenlig. Ieg bekiender, at dersom min herre, salig hos Gud, havde været i live, at jeg da ikke aleneste havde tagen imod tilbuddet, men endog gjort mit yderste mit fængsel at undkomme for hannem at opsøge, til sidste åndedræt at opvarte og tjene; min skyldighed havde det udkrævet. Men eftersom han da alt war hos Gud udi hvile og ro og ej nogen menneskes tjeneste mere behøvede, så haver jeg billigen betragtet, at den selvtagen frihed os på alle sider mere skadeligt end som gavnligt være ville, og at det ikke var der vej til vores fratagne formue att komme, hvorfor jeg den udslog og søgte i det sted mit hjerte til rolighed at skikke og mit pålagte kors tålmodeligen at bære. Vil Gud det så føje, og er det hans guddommelige behag, at jeg med kongelig nåde min frihed skal nyde, så vil jeg og med glæde efter yderste formue for eder, mine hjerte kære børn, være et verdsens træl og udi gerningen ervise, at jeg aldrig viger fra min pligt, at jeg ikke er mindre en god og retsindig moder, end som jeg haver været en tro hustru. Udi midlertid lader Guds vilje være eders vilje, han vil alle ting således vende, føje og lave, at det eder og mig til sjæl og liv kan gavne; under hvis trygge varetægt jeg eder alle troligen vil befale og bede, at han Eders fader og moder, eders rådførere og ledesmand ville være. Beder I igen for mig, at Gud mig med sin gode ånd vil regere og fremdeles som hid ind til tålmodighed forunde. Det er alt det, som søger hos Eder
Mine hjertekære børn
Eders hulde moder
Leonora Christina
V. E. G.
Skreven i det Blåtårn anno 1674 den 18. juli, mit fængsels det elfte år, min fødselsdag, og alders 53. år.
English translation (from source 4):
TO MY CHILDREN.
Beloved children, I may indeed say with Job, "Oh, that my grief were thoroughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together! For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea." My sufferings are indeed great and many; they are heavy and innumerable. My mind has long been uncertain with regard to this history of my sufferings, as I could not decide whether I ought not rather to endeavour to forget them than to bear them in memory. At length, however, certain reasons have induced me, not only to preserve my sorrow in my own memory, but to compose a record of it, and to direct it to you, my dear children.
The first of these reasons is the remembrance of the omnipotence of God; for I cannot recall to mind my sorrow and grief, my fears and distresses, without at the same time remembering the almighty power of God, who in all my sufferings, my misery, my affliction, and anxiety, has been my strength and help, my consolation and assistance; for never has God laid a burden upon me, without at the same time giving me strength in proportion, so that the burden, though it has weighed me down and heavily oppressed me, has not overwhelmed me and crushed me; for which I praise and extol through eternity the almighty power of the incomprehensible God.
I wish, therefore, not alone to record my troubles and to thank God for His gracious support in all the misfortunes that have befallen me, but also to declare to you, my dear children, God's goodness to me, that you may not only admire with me the inconceivable help of the Almighty, but that you may be able to join with me in rendering Him thanks. For you may say with reason that God has dealt wonderfully with me; that He was mighty in my weakness and has shown His power in me, the frailest of His instruments. For how would it have been possible for me to resist such great, sudden, and unexpected misfortunes, had not His spirit imparted to me strength? It was God who Himself entered with me into the Tower-gate; it was He who extended to me His hand, and wrestled for me in that prison cell for malefactors, which is called "the dark Church."
Since then, now for almost eleven years, He has always been within the gate of my prison as well as of my heart; He has strengthened me, comforted me, refreshed me, and often even cheered me. God has done wonderful things in me, for it is more than inconceivable that I should have been able to survive the great misfortunes that have befallen me, and at the same time should have retained my reason, sense, and understanding. It is a matter of the greatest wonder that my limbs are not distorted and contracted from lying and sitting, that my eyes are not dim and wholly blind from weeping, and from smoke and soot; that I am not short-breathed from candle smoke and exhalation, from stench and close air. To God alone be the honour!
The other cause that impels me is the consolation it will be to you, my dear children, to be assured through this account of my sufferings that I suffer innocently; that nothing whatever has been imputed to me, nor have I been accused of anything for which you, my dear children, should blush or cast down your eyes in shame. I suffer for having loved a virtuous lord and husband, and for not having abandoned him in misfortune. I was suspected of being privy to an act of treason for which he has never been prosecuted according to law, much less convicted of it, and the cause of the accusation was never explained to me, humbly and sorrowfully as I desired that it should be. Let it be your consolation, my dear children, that I have a gracious God, a good conscience, and can boldly maintain that I have never committed a dishonourable act. "This is thankworthy", says the apostle St. Peter, "if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully." I suffer, thank God, not for my misdeeds, for that were no glory to me; yet I can boast that from my youth up I have been a bearer of the cross of Christ, and had incredibly secret sufferings, which were very heavy to endure at such an early age.
Although this record of my sufferings contains and reveals nothing more than what has occurred to me in this prison, where I have now been for eleven years, I must not neglect in this preface briefly to recall to your minds, my dear children, my earlier misfortunes, thanking God at the same time that I have overcome them.
Not only you, my dear children, know, but it is known throughout the whole country, what great misfortune Dina and Walter, with their powerful adherents, inflicted on our house in the year 1651.
Although I will not mention the many fatiguing and difficult journeys, the perils by sea, and various dangers which I have endured in foreign countries, I will only remind you of that journey which my lord requested me to undertake to Denmark, contrary to my wish, in the year 1657. It was winter time, and therefore difficult and dangerous. I endured scorn and persecution; and had not God given me courage and taken it from him who was to have arrested me, I should not at that time have escaped the misery of captivity.
You will remember, my dear children, what I suffered and endured during fourteen months in custody at Malmöe; how the greatest favour which His Majesty, King Charles X of Sweden, at that time showed me, was that he left it to my free will, either to remain at liberty, taking care of our property, or to be in prison with my lord. I acknowledged the favour, and chose the latter as my duty, esteeming it a happiness to be allowed to console and to serve my anxious husband, afflicted as he subsequently was by illness. I accepted it also as a favour that I was allowed (when my lord could not do it himself on account of illness) to appear before the tribunal in his stead. What anxiety and sorrow I had for my sick lord, what trouble, annoyance and distress, the trial caused me (it was carried on daily for more than nine weeks), is known to the most high God, who was my consolation, assistance, and strength, and who inspired me with heart and courage to defend the honour of his judges.
You will probably not have forgotten how quickly one misfortune followed another, how one sorrow was scarcely past when a greater one followed in its track; we fared, according to the words of the poet:
Incidit in Scyllam, qui vult vitare Charibdin.
We escaped custody and then fell into strict captivity, without doubt by the dispensation of God, who inspired my lord with the idea of repairing, contrary to our agreement, to Copenhagen instead of Lübeck. No pen can describe how sorrowful I was when, contrary to all expectation, I met my lord in Copenhagen, when I had imagined him escaped from the power and violence of all his enemies. I expected just that which my lord did not believe would happen, but which followed immediately — namely, our arrest. The second day after my arrival (which they had waited for) we were apprehended and conveyed to Bornholm, where we were in close imprisonment for seventeen months. I have given a full description of what I suffered, and this I imagine is in your keeping, my dear children; and from it you see what I and my sick lord endured; how often I warded off greater misery, because my lord could not always brook patiently the bad treatment of the governor, Adolf Foss, who called himself Fux.
It was hard and bitter indeed to be scorned and scoffed at by a peasant's son; to have to suffer hunger at his will, and to be threatened and harassed by him; but still harder and more bitter was it to be sick beneath his power, and to hear from him the words that even if death were on my lips no minister of God's word should come to me. Oh monstrous tyranny! His malice was so thoroughly beyond all bounds, that he could not endure that we should lighten each other's cross; and for this reason he contrived, after the lapse of eleven months, to have us separated from each other, and to place us each in the hardest confinement.
My husband (at that time already advancing in years) without a servant, and I without an attendant, was only allowed a light so long as the evening meal lasted. I cannot forbear bitterly recalling to mind the six months of long and hard separation, and the sad farewell which we took of each other; for to all human sight there was no other prospect than that which the governor announced to us — namely, that we were seeing and speaking with each other for the last time in this world. God knows best how hard our sufferings were, for it was He who consoled us, who gave us hope contrary to all expectation, and who inspired me with courage when the governor visited me and endeavoured to fill me with despair.
God confirmed my hope. Money and property loosened the bonds of our captivity, and we were allowed to see and speak with each other once more. Sad as my lord had been when we were separated at Borringholm, he was joyous when two years afterwards he persuaded me to undertake the English journey, not imagining that this was to part us for ever. My lord, who entertained too good an opinion of the King of England, thought that now he had come to the throne he would remember not only his great written and spoken promises, but that he would also bear in mind how, at the time of his need and exile, I had drawn the rings from my fingers and had pawned them for meals for him and his servants. But how unwillingly I undertook this journey is well known to some of you, my dear children, as I was well aware that from an ungrateful person there is nothing else to be expected but ingratitude. I had the example of others by whom to take warning; but it was thus destined to be.
Bitter bread was in store for me, and bitter gall was to fill my cup in the Blue Tower of Copenhagen Castle; thither was I to go to eat it and drink it out. It is not unknown to you how falsely the King of England acted towards me; how well he received me on my arrival; how he welcomed me with a Judas kiss and addressed me as his cousin; and how both he himself and all his high ministers assured me of the royal favour, and promised me payment of the money advanced. You know how cunningly (at the desire of His Majesty the King of Denmark) he had me arrested at Dover, and subsequently sent me word through the traitor Lieutenant Braten that he would let me escape secretly, at the same time delivering me into the hand of the Danish Minister Simon Petcon, who had me arrested by eight armed men; keeping aloof, however, himself, and never venturing to come near me. They held sword and pistol to my breast, and two of them took me between them and placed me in a boat, which conveyed me to a vessel held in readiness by the said Minister; a man of the name of Peter Dreyer having received orders to conduct me to Copenhagen.
From this period this record of my suffering begins. It contains all that happened to me within the gates of the Blue Tower. Reflect, my dear children, on these hard sufferings; but remember also God's great goodness towards me. Verily, He has freed me from six calamities; rest assured that He will not leave me to perish in the seventh. No! for the honour of His name, he will mightily deliver me.
The narrative of my sufferings is sad to hear, and must move the hardest heart to pity; yet in reading it, do not be more saddened than can be counterbalanced by joy. Consider my innocence, courage, and patience; rejoice over these.
I have passed over various petty vexations and many daily annoyances for the sake of brevity, although the smallest of them rankled sore in the wounds of my bitter sorrow.
I acknowledge my weaknesses, and do not shrink from confessing them to you. I am a human being, and am full of human imperfections. Our first emotions are not under our own power; we are often overhasty before we are able to reflect. God knows that I have often made myself deaf and blind, in order not to be carried away by passion. I am ashamed to mention and to enumerate the unchaste language, bad words and coarse invectives, of the prison governor Johan Jaeger, of Kresten Maansen, the tower warder, of Karen the daughter of Ole, and of Catharina Wolff; they would offend courtly ears. Yet I can assure you they surpass everything that can be imagined as indecent, ugly, churlish and unbecoming; for coarse words and foul language were the tokens of their friendship and clemency, and disgusting oaths were the ornament and embellishment of their untruthfulness; so that their intercourse was most disagreeable to me. I was never more glad than when the gates were closed between me and those who were to guard me. Then I had only the woman alone, whom I brought to silence, sometimes amicably, and at others angrily and with threats.
I have also had, and have still, pleasant intercourse with persons whose services and courtesies I shall remember as long as I live. You, my dear children, will also repay them to every one as far as you are able.
You will find also in this record of my sufferings two of the chief foes of our house, namely Jörgen Walter and Jörgen Skröder, with regard to whom God has revenged me, and decreed that they should have need of me, and that I should comfort them. Walter gives me cause to state more respecting him than was my intention.
Of the psalms and hymns which I have composed and translated, I only insert a few, in order that you, my dear children, may see and know how I have ever clung steadfastly to God, who has been and still is my wall of defence against every attack, and my refuge in every kind of misfortune and adversity. Do not regard the rhymes; they are not according to the rules which poets make; but regard the matter, the sense, and the purport. Nor have I left my other small pastime unmentioned, for you may perceive the repose of my mind from the fact that I have had no unemployed hours; even a rat, a creature so abominable to others, affording me amusement.
I have recorded two observations, which though they treat of small and contemptible animals, yet are remarkable, and I doubt whether any naturalist hitherto has observed them. For I do not think it has been recorded hitherto that there exists a kind of caterpillar which brings forth small living grubs like itself, nor either that a flea gives birth to a fully-formed flea, and not that a nit comes from a nit.
In conclusion, I beg you, my dear children, not to let it astonish you that I would not avail myself of the opportunity by which I might have gained my freedom. If you rightly consider it, it would not have been expedient either for you or for me. I confess that if my deceased lord had been alive, I should not only have accepted the proposal, but I should have done my utmost to have escaped from my captivity, in order to go in quest of him, and to wait on him and serve him till his last breath; my duty would have required this. But since he was at that time in rest and peace with God, and needed no longer any human service, I have with reason felt that self-obtained liberty would have been in every respect more prejudicial than useful to us, and that this would not be the way to gain the possessions taken from us, for which reason I refused it and endeavoured instead to seek repose of mind and to bear patiently the cross laid upon me. If God so ordains it, and it is His divine will that through royal mercy I should obtain my freedom, I will joyfully exert myself for you, my beloved children, to the utmost of my ability, and prove in deed that I have never deviated from my duty, and that I am no less a good and right-minded mother than I have been a faithful wife. Meanwhile let God's will be your will. He will turn and govern all things so that they may benefit you and me in soul and body, to whose safe keeping I confidently recommend you all, praying that He will be your father and mother, your counsellor and guide. Pray in return for me, that God may direct me by His good spirit, and grant me patience in the future as heretofore. This is all that is requested from you by,
My dearly beloved children, your affectionate mother,
LEONORA CHRISTINA, V. E. G.
Written in the Blue Tower, anno 1674, the 18th of July, the eleventh year of my imprisonment, my birthday, and fifty-third year of my age.
Note: In accordance with the nobility's ideals in the early modern era, kings and queens considered themselves siblings; when talking to someone of a lower rank than their own, they would refer to that person as "my cousin", regardless of whether or not they were related.
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