Source:
Private correspondence of Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough: illustrative of the court and times of Queen Anne, volume 1, H. Colburn, London, 1838
Above: Sarah Churchill, painted by Charles Jervas.
Above: Queen Anne, painted by Sir Godfrey Kneller.
The letter:
Oct. 29, 1707.
I think in all respects this is the best way of answering Mrs. Morley's complaints to Mr. Montgomery; first, it will be a shorter trouble than if I waited upon you. You will presently see the end of this; and if I do say any thing I ought not to do, it will appear as a record against me to shame me whenever you please, and I desire it may do so; for whenever I have found myself in the wrong (to the most inconsiderable person that I ever knew), it has been my nature, and the greatest pleasure I could have, to let them see I was convinced, and to give them all the satisfaction that was in my power; and if this has been my temper to the meanest servant that I have, how much pain must I feel upon any reproach of that kind in the case of Mr. or Mrs. Morley; but, indeed, I am not insensible to the least failing to either; and as I have been faithful to them for these many years, and in their true interest, so I shall be to the last moment of my life, and if this were my last hour, I could safely protest that I did mean only what I said of Mr. Morley as a companion, and not with any disrespectful thought or reflection upon him, to shew what a sort of friendship it was; and if I had thought or ever heard, that he had any such inclination, it would have been the last thing that ever I should have touched upon. For in my whole life I never did any thing so ill bred or so foolish as to say a thing only to offend you, without doing you any service, though I have ventured very often to do it, when I hoped it might be of use to you; and I am yet so far from from [sic] repenting of that, that I think there is nothing in my whole life that I have so much reason to be proud of. This is all that is necessary to say as to the accusation concerning Mr. Morley; but if it were not sufficient, I could say a great deal more, and I think myself more obliged to him than to Mrs. Morley. I remember all his justice and goodness to me in times past. I have a thousand things to thank him for, and no one to complain of; he is still the same (I believe) to me that ever he was, and will always be so, unless Mr. Morley thinks fit to give him a prejudice to me, which I am sure I shall never deserve; and what I have said formerly of my fears of his being influenced by some *** that did not act for his interest, was so plainly for the interest of you both, that I can never be sorry for it; and I heartily wish one you seem to have a better opinion of than me, performs that part, and all others, as well as I have done.
I am sure upon Mr. Morley's subject she has made bold to me, though upon others she has been very reserved, which were more reasonable to have spoke of, and after her ungrateful behaviour to me, I can't think I am obliged to do her good offices, though in this perhaps I shall not be believed; and yet to disappoint her of all she aims at, I would not tell you a lie, nor never did, notwithstanding those heavy complaints to Mr. Montgomery upon her subject yesterday, which can proceed from nothing but great partiality, that more or less blinds all people. Those that are not so cannot think it strange that after what I have discovered of that lady, and her manner to me, that I should endeavour to recover your kindness, (which I never made an ill use of) by only telling you the truth, which every body knows to be so, and that Mrs. Morley calls saying perpetually ill things of Mrs. Hill. I beg to have that explained; I never did say that she had taken money, or that it was a crime to have been in a mean service; the last thing being what she could not help, but it was publicly known, and I thought it reasonable to let you know it, before the change gave occasion for more discourse, which, besides the particular mortification it must be to me, perhaps, without much vanity, some might wonder at; and putting all things together, without being quite stupid, I can't but see that she aims at much more than she would have you believe. And, before this thing broke out, at least to me, she was so passionate, or indiscreet, (I don't know what to call it) as to write to me that Mrs. Morley had never shown her any distinction, notwithstanding she had the honour to be my cousin. This shews she is not so disinterested and so indifferent as she pretends in most things; for I believe every body but herself thought she was distinguished enough in having the honour to serve you. This letter being very extraordinary, I remember I shewed it to Mr. Montgomery, when I had not a dream of what had happened, and I believe it is yet in a heap of letters I kept from the fire. What I said of people's taking money was only as a caution to you, and in those very terms, that I had never sold your favours, when my circumstances were indifferent, and that I had nothing upon earth to desire, but that all you had to give might be disposed of to your honour, and to strengthen the government. I never said Mrs. Hill took money; but said she had acquaintance that every body knew would take money for any thing upon earth; that by experience I knew what the custom of the world was, that money would be offered, and arguments too, whenever it was thought there was credit, to persuade people that it was usual in such cases to take money and no hurt; and one did not know what people might be persuaded to that had an inclination to mend their condition, not what characters they might give of people and things, from that temptation, want of knowledge and experience, which very possibly might not turn to the interest or account of Mrs. Morley.
In this letter is summed up all that I ever said with passion or disrespect to Mr. and Mrs. Morley, and a picture of all that has ever passed concerning Mrs. Hill, and something more than I had ever mentioned before; and I am contented that any body that is not partial against me to an extraordinary degree should be judge of it; and for fear you should not do me the justice to shew it to Mr. Montgomery, before I seal it, I will do it. If this be true, I am confident he will clear me of all I have been accused of to him; if it be not, I beg from your justice, as the last favour that I shall ever ask, and with as much earnestness as if it were to save the lives of all that are dear to me, that you will say in what other measure I have been guilty of disrespect, or any of those faults you have accused me of. These are the very words that I have said to you, and if you will reflect, they were expressed with so little passion, that the last time I waited upon you, there were very long spaces on both sides, when it was a profound silence. I never stirred once from behind the screen where I first stood, that I remember, I never in the whole conversation once pulled out my pocket handkerchief till after I had taken my leave. When at the door you were pleased to give me a mark of your favour, that brought tears into my eyes, and I answered you as Brutus did his friend; and I am sure no woman ever was a better than I have endeavoured to be to Mrs. Morley; and if she had heard me, and her servants of more than twenty years' experience, she would not have been under these difficulties she now is. Their councils, as long as followed, were very successful, and I am sure I have made it the business of my life to serve you well, and to give you the character you would wish to have. Whatever freedom I have taken in speaking to you for your own service, it was when you were alone, and if you had believed those you have so much reason to credit, without letting so many people be witnesses how hard you are to be persuaded to what is generally thought for your interest and security, it would have been more for service. The consequences of which are plainly to make all those that are true to your interest so uneasy and jealous, that I fear they will never more act as they would have done. As to the other side, the party you are so much inclined to are divided mad men, and for the Prince of Wales, who neither will nor can support you.
Notes: Mrs. Freeman was Anne's nickname for Sarah and Mrs. Morley was her nickname for herself. "Mr. Morley" was Anne's late husband Prince George of Denmark.
The erased word seems to be "villains".
In Early Modern English, "passion" was a synonym for "anger", in turn "passionate" was a synonym for "angry".
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